搞笑生活日常句子简短英文(日常臭美的搞笑句子)

1.
I
don't
always
understand
people,
but
when
I
do,
I
usually
regret
it.
【#LifeHumor】

2.
I'm
not
lazy,
I'm
just
conserving
my
energy
for
when
I
really
need
it.
【#Procrastination】

3.
I
have
a
love-hate
relationship
with
running;
I
love
the
feeling
of
accomplishment,
but
hate
actually
doing
it.
【#FitnessFail】

4.
Procrastination
is
like
a
credit
card
-
it's
fun
until
you
get
the
bill.
【#TimeManagement】

5.
I
like
long
walks,
especially
when
they
are
taken
by
people
who
annoy
me.
【#PetPeeves】

6.
The
older
I
get,
the
more
I
realize
that
"adulting"
is
just
a
series
of
poorly
made
decisions.
【#GrowingUp】

7.
I
don't
always
have
a
witty
comeback,
but
when
I
do,
I
think
of
it
two
hours
later.
【#MissedOpportunities】

8.
My
daily
exercise
routine
consists
of
running
late
and
jumping
to
conclusions.
【#FitnessFail】

9.
Behind
every
successful
person
is
a
substantial
amount
of
coffee.
【#CaffeineAddiction】

10.
My
life
is
a
constant
struggle
between
wanting
to
be
healthy
and
wanting
to
eat
pizza.
【#FoodieProblems】

11.
I
never
make
the
same
mistake
twice;
I
usually
make
it
at
least
three,
sometimes
four
times.
【#LearningFromMistakes】

1
2.
I'm
not
arguing,
I'm
just
passionately
expressing
my
point
of
view.
【#Debates】

1
3.
You
know
you're
an
adult
when
going
to
bed
early
and
waking
up
early
are
both
equally
exciting.
【#Adulting】

1
4.
I'm
not
saying
I'm
indecisive,
but
I
can't
even
decide
what
to
watch
on
Netflix.
【#NetflixAndChill】

1
5.
I
have
a
photographic
memory,
but
my
lens
cap
is
always
on.
【#Forgetfulness】

1
6.
I'm
not
good
at
math,
but
I'm
great
at
counting
down
the
minutes
until
the
work
day
is
over.
【#OfficeLife】

1
7.
I
love
deadlines;
I
like
the
whooshing
sound
they
make
as
they
fly
by.
【#Procrastination】

1
8.
My
boss
told
me
to
have
a
good
day,
so
I
went
home.
【#WorkHumor】

1
9.
I
have
a
black
belt
in
sarcasm,
but
a
white
belt
in
actually
doing
anything
productive.
【#SarcasmSkills】

20.
I
used
to
think
I
was
indecisive,
but
now
I'm
not
so
sure.
【#DecisionMaking】